Part 4 Coronavirus Confessions is gong to be a bit different. Our entire post today will be dedicated to a beautiful confession I received from a pediatric nurse.
I hate this! I hate everything about it!
I hate the added STRESS. I hate the political mess, hate talk, and protesting. I hate watching the news and feeling confused about what is true. I hate that some people don’t believe that people are DYING from this. It’s not “just like the flu.” COVID-19 is quicker and sneakier.
I hate having to go to work M-F and leave my husband to work 8 hours a day from home while caring for and entertaining our 3 year old son. I hate how much TV my son is watching. I hate missing out on countless hours of time with them. I hate missing out on celebrating friends’ and family’s birthdays. I hate not hugging my people.
I hate it that my son cries every time we drive past the park and I have to explain again why we can’t go play there. I hate having to age appropriately explain why schools are closed and he can’t see his friends. I HATE paying for daycare while our son stays home just to “keep his spot.” I hate that my son can’t hug and play with his grandparents for fear of unknowingly infecting them. What if I brought it home to him and he’s just not symptomatic?
I hate being uncertain about booking a summer vacation. I hate grocery shopping with a mask on. I hate wiping down EVERYTHING from the store with disinfectant wipes when I get home from the store before I bring anything inside. I hate having a second “quarantine pantry and fridge/freezer.” I hate having to cross to the other side of the street to avoid my neighbors during walks with my son.
But most of all I hate feeling afraid. I work at a local clinic inside a hospital, and I am afraid EVERYDAY that I will bring this virus home. Everyday I drive home, disinfectant the inside of my car, my keys, my phone, my apple watch, leave my purse and work shoes in my walled off garage “decontamination station,” close the garage door (thankfully I haven’t forgotten that step yet), strip down out of my scrubs, knock on the door that my husband opens, put my scrubs in the washer, wash my hands, and then run to the shower as my husband holds my son who is screaming to hug me. I HATE missing that “just home from work” hug!
I hate washing my hair everyday (it only needs it 2-3 times a week.) I hate the entire after work process. I HATE FEELING AFRAID I WILL INFECT MY FAMILY! I hate this “new normal.” There is nothing fucking normal about this. I hate waiting and speculating about a “second wave” and if this will all start over in the Fall. I hate waiting for a vaccine.
But I also LOVE how people have come together during this time. I love seeing people step out of their daily routines and help one another. I love reading stories of strangers who are coming together to do some good during this time. I love that we have been forced to slow down and remember what really matters.
I love spending time at home with my family on the weekends instead of being busy running a million errands or going to a million functions/activities. I love that I’ve been able to reach out and help friends and family by mailing masks, disinfectant wipes, hand sanitizer, and a little note of love.
I love that I’ve been able to better appreciate the little things. And I love that there is hope. We will find a vaccine and move on after this, but I hope we don’t forget all the things we realized are important and all the things we learned during this time.
-A Pediatric Nurse
Covid-19 has literally turned the world upside down & I feel so passionately that the stories of the everyday people need to be told. What is your work situation like? How has it been with the kids at home while doing crisis schooling & working at the same time? How hard is it not seeing family & friends? Or maybe not much has changed for you, tell us why? Everyone has a story, every story needs told. Here’s your chance to submit an anonymous confession of your own. Thank you for sharing!!
Anonymous Coronavirus Confession Form
Thank you so much for reading & for sharing!